


and yet sometimes

by NEONTURBO_BONK



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Gen, MUAHHAHAHAH!!!!, Trans Scout, nb pyro, trans soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NEONTURBO_BONK/pseuds/NEONTURBO_BONK
Summary: juliet is a dumb name for someone who has to step into a dress every easter and has to put long hair into a ponytail in the morning. juliet is a dumb name for somebody who spends hours in the field hitting baseballs with a bat thats not theirs. juliet was a dumb name for dumb people who were girls. his name wasnt juliet and he wasnt a girl either.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 54





	and yet sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> hi. hello. helooooo! im trans and i kin scout (hows ur daddy issuez and adhd going? LOL!) ugh.. i know right?
> 
> NEwayz heres a quick thing

juliet is a dumb name for someone who has to step into a dress every easter and has to put long hair into a ponytail in the morning. juliet is a dumb name for somebody who spends hours in the field hitting baseballs with a bat thats not theirs. juliet was a dumb name for dumb people who were girls. his name wasnt juliet and he wasnt a girl either.

sometimes he looks at himself in the mirror for hours, staring and inspecting the body thats his, and thats when his head start to feel a little fuzzy and he has to blink away his tears because boys dont cry. boys dont cry because they were supposed to be brave and strong. 

sometimes he wonders how his mother would feel back at home, back in boston. back where he gripped the pair of scissors so tightly it dug into his palms and he snipped away the shiny locks of brown hair that framed his face. he wonders how his mother would feel knowing that her only daughter wasnt really a girl all along. back where he had heard one of his brothers knocking on the batheoom door telling him to hurry up while he sat curled up on the floor teary eyed, wishing for a father he never had.

in mann co everything is alright. everything is okay because miss pauling tells him he'll be fine. she tells him he doesnt have to be juliet, he can just be the scout and nothing more. he can just be the guy who talks a mile a minute and listens to bad music and reads comic books. he can just be the wisecracking guy from massuchusettes who got a tom jones tattoo on his chest at 16. 

only after the first two weeks of battling he goes into the infirmary almost unconscious, breathing hard. the pains in his chest furiously stab at him as medic scolds him for using bandages. he blacks out and wakes up a few hours later, flat chested and with two scars snaking their way along his torso. the face of tom jones grins at him and he cant help but smile back, bursting into tears. 

every month he grits his teeth and holds his breath while medic injects it into his arm. he doesnt remember the name of it, theres more important things to keep in mind, but sometimes he'll enter the infirmary and sit down and ask for the "boy juice" and that makes both of them laugh. 

one day he sees soldier enter while he's in the middle of getting his shot and panic overtakes him. he has to hum his favorite song to himself until he starts breathing steady again. 

"SCOUT I BELIEVE I HAVE IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO HERE AS WELL. MAKE ROOM." 

soldier rolls up his sleeve and pats his arm, as if to say 'well, doc?'. when medic gives him the exact same shot scout realises hes not alone and the euphoria of there being someone else; someone else like him, was great.

it was easier nowadays. he'd get out of bed and get dressed up in shadows. he'd take his adhd meds and wrap his hands in tape. he'd pass soldier in the hallway and the two would share a nod that the rest of the team wouldnt know the true meaning of. he'd fight, he'd shoot, he'd call someone a knucklehead. he'd read outloud to pyro and they would excitedly point out their favorite parts. he'd shower in the dark and he'd walk past the mirrors that he agonised over in the past, breathing in relief.

everything was ok. he is scout and his name is jeremy and he is a boy.

**Author's Note:**

> its 4 40 am..i am very TIRED! 
> 
> thanks for readin..leabe a comment if u wanr i guess?÷=?,#$?$??!$ 
> 
> tumblr and insta @neonturboshitter  
> twitter @neonturboshit


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